Breakfast of Champions

I got to have a super-fun conversation today at work (but, really, what else is new?). I was on the phone, perhaps talking a bit too loudly, when my boss's boss walked past my office. All she heard was this:

Me: Are you going to the doctor or not, asshole?

She peeked her head in the door slightly and, fumbling around to hang up the phone with some semblance of dignity, I quickly ended my phone call.

Big Boss: Katharine, did I just hear you call an employee an "asshole"?
Me: No! Oh, God, no. Of course not!
Big Boss: Then who were you calling an "asshole"?
Me: ...my mother.

*awkward silence*

Big Boss: That's really nice, Katharine.

So, you see, there's a reason I created an entire tag called "ways I embarass myself." The frequency with which I need to use it is just shameful, though.