An Apache Helicopter

As I believe I've mentioned elsewhere, Richard is extremely quotable. These aren't your run-of-the-mill quotes, though. These are less Yeats and more Yogi Berra. Here are a few gems I've been saving up over the past few weeks:

Richard has been staring out of the window, dreamily, for a good, solid five minutes.
Me: Whatcha thinking about over there?
Richard (after a long pause): If I could fly anything, it'd be a helicopter.
Me: Oh.
Richard (about thirty seconds later): An Apache helicopter.

We're driving in my car; Richard is, as usual, complaining about my music.
Richard: What is that shite?
Me: It's Rent.
Richard: It's gay. Turn it off.
Me: Fine. What do you want to listen to instead?
Richard (completely serious, but in a high-pitched, excited voice): Phantom!

Richard is holding an umbrella, looking quite consternated.
Richard: How does this thing work?
Me: Huh?
Richard (even more annoyed now): I said, how does this thing work?!
Me: ...Did you just ask me how an umbrella works? Seriously?
Richard: Yes. Are you going to show me or not?

I'm sitting at my desk, at work. My phone rings.
Richard: Hey! What's up?
Me: Not much.
Richard: Where are you?
Me: I'm at work. Where you called me.
Richard: Oh. Right. Sorry.

The next day...
Richard: Hey! What's up?
Me: Not much.
Richard: Where are you?
Me: I'm at work. Where you called me. Just like yesterday.
Richard: Oh. Right. Sorry.

I love this man.

Yes, you.